


The Crow With Broken Wings

by nagichi_boop



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 18,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24063259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagichi_boop/pseuds/nagichi_boop
Summary: Hinata gets an illness that slowly causes his athleticism to wither away and he has to learn to try to physically and emotionally deal with it.(This story is a repost of a fanfic of mine from Wattpad.)Please note: This is a fanfiction. None of the characters in this story belong to me. They belong to Haruichi Furudate, the creator of the Haikyuu!! manga. Please support the original source material.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou & Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	1. Feather to the Floor

"Kageyama!" I shouted. "Bring it to me!"

Kageyama leant back slightly and tossed the ball to the tip of my fingers. Instinctively, I swung my hand at the ball and successfully spiked it, my eyes having a fixed gaze on it. 

"One more!" I cried, throwing my spiking hand in the air.

Kageyama simply nodded, calling for another ball to be thrown to him. Sugawara picked up a ball from from the basket and threw it above Kageyama.

I ran to the left of the court, ready to spike the ball. Kageyama positioned his hands and pushed the ball, perfectly directing it to the tip of my fingers. Again, I flung my hand forward with all my might. 

‘Huh?’

I landed on the floor in complete confusion, blankly staring at the floor. No one said anything. 

"T-The ball didn't...didn't touch my hand?" Bringing my hand to my face, I looked at my hand with a perplexed look about my face.   
"Hinata, you idiot!" I turned around to see a very frustrated Kageyama. I quickly spun and flailed my arms in front of me. 

"I'm sorry! I'll get the next one!" I was shaking slightly, hoping he wouldn't grip my hair again.

Kageyama remained silent in annoyance, turning and calling for another ball. 

The rest of practice seemed to go well. I managed to perfectly spike the rest of the tosses. And yet...that one missed spike seemed to linger at the forefront of my mind. 

‘Why? Why did I miss? I never usually miss.’ I couldn't seem to find an answer.

For the rest of the day's classes, I stared at my hand in utter dismay, not really focusing on my surroundings. 

"Shouyou Hinata."

My teacher stared at me sternly, the other students chuckling under their breath. 

"I-I'm sorry, What did you want?"

She rolled her eyes. "Your homework?"

"Oh right!" I pulled my homework from my bag and handed it to the teacher. 

After class, I felt a strong tug on the neck of my shirt. I turned around to see who it was. 

"K-Kageyama!" He let go of my shirt, almost causing me to fall over. His face had a vague look of irritation on his face. 

"What happened in practice? Don't tell me you were being self-conscience about your height again."

"No...it's not that." I looked down again at my hand. ‘What was it?’

"Maybe you're loosing your stamina. I guess you should stop trying to be cool."

"Hey, what do you mean 'trying' to be cool?" 

Kageyama looked at me expressionless. “Come with me."

"Huh? Where are we going?"

"Where do you think you idiot?" He looked at me with a slightly impatient face. "We're going to practice in the gymnasium. We can't afford to have you miss my tosses in a real tournament."

"Right..." I wasn't exactly sure how to react. Was I pushing myself to hard? Or maybe I wasn't trying hard enough? 

Whatever the reason, I can't afford to make the same mistake.


	2. Battle Against The Wind

Sugawara unlocked the doors to the gymnasium. "Here you go! Don't stay here for too long you two, okay?"

Both of us bowed our head and thanked him. He chuckled. "You guys don't have to be so formal you know!"

As Sugawara walked away, I felt a cold breeze drift over me. I turned and to my dismay Kageyama looked at me with his menacing eyes. 

"Alright airhead, no daydreaming this time, okay?" he commanded sternly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" I mocked with a small grin on my face. 'There's no way I'm gonna let that happen again', I thought to myself. 

Throwing the first ball into the air, I ran full steam towards the net, Kageyama tossing it to me by the time I was in the air.

I hit it. 

The morning's practice seemed to go really well with me managing to hit all the tosses Kageyama sent to me. The only problem was I quickly lost stamina and we had to take a break to which Kageyama reluctantly agreed to. 

"Hey, idiot." he said in a slightly more relaxed tone. "Are you getting anxious again? Because if it's about your height or anything, I wouldn't worry about- "

"It's not that." I huffed as I gasped for breath. 

Kageyama looked at me with a concerned look on my face. "Hey, you look really pale? Are you feeling okay? It's not like you to be worn out so quickly..."

'Well I am feeling a bit faint but...I must keep going. Just one more!'

"I'm fine, Kageyama, don't worry! I'm probably just using way too much energy" I lied through my teeth, grinning while I said it in hopes that he wouldn't notice it. 

But he did. 

I leant back onto my hands, trying desperately to keep composure. 

"Hinata, can you hear me?" Kageyama said, though his words were beginning to become difficult to understand. 

"Y-Yeah I can!"

"Hinata, are you..." I completely lost focus on he was saying. The gymnasium began to spin and my arms began to tremble. Faint shouts of desperate attention exited Kageyama's mouth, but to me all was a blur. My eyes gently began to seal off the confusion in front of me until I eventually lost consciousness. 

I could hear muffled voices and gradually they became clearer. 

"Hinata? Hinata-kun?" 

My eyes began to open and before me was the regulars of the Karasuno volleyball club. Figuring out what happened, I sat upright and began apologising to them, though I still felt quite ill.

"Hey, calm down! Lay back will you?" Sugawara put his arms on my shoulders, gently pushing me back to the laying position. 

"S-So what happened to me? Why am I in the nurse's office?" Those words slipped out of my mouth despite me being aware of my being here. 

"You idiot. You passed out after practice, remember?" Kageyama chuffed bluntly.

"Take it easy, Kageyama, it's not his fault!" Sugawara pleaded politely. 

"Tch." Kageyama clicked his teeth in frustration. 

Nishinoya pushed forward. "Kageyama said you seemed really warn out from training, even though you didn't train that much. Maybe you're losing touch!" Nishinoya chuckled, hitting my shoulder in a jolly dismissal. 

'Loosing touch? Am I loosing touch?' Noticing my anxiety, Sugawara stepped forward.   
"I'm sure Hinata has just caught a fever or something. He'll be fine in a few days."

Kageyama intently glared at me with his piercing eyes, putting me on edge. Upon seeing this, Asahi encouraged him quietly to stop, and though I'm not exactly sure what he said, it seemed to make Kageyama more impatient.

"Don't spend to long slacking off, okay?" Kageyama walked out of the nurse's office with a bad temper. 

In confusion, I asked, "Is Kageyama okay?"

"I'm not sure." Sugawara responded. "He seemed pretty frustrated that you passed out. Something about you lying to him?"

"Oh. I think I get it." 

'It must have been when I told him I was feeling okay despite being so pale. But why was he frustrated at that? There must be another reason...'

"Hinata?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thought and looked up at Nishinoya who was now speaking again. 

"Hang in there, buddy! Not to put any pressure on you but without you I don't think Kageyama can practice fully. Besides," he said resting his hand on my shoulder, "without you, who's going to lighten the mood?" He had a simple yet powerful smile on his face.

Without any thought I smiled back. "Of course! I need to get back to practice as soon as possible!" I assured everyone, filled with determination. 

"Excuse me?" One of the nurses walked in. "May we please speak to Shouyou alone please?"

"Of course," Sugawara responded in a respectful manner. "Let's go, you guys."

"See you, Hinata! Get well soon, okay buddy?" Nishinoya said as he left the room, giving me a thumbs up with an uplifting grin on his face. 

"You sure have a lot of friends don't you?" the nurse remarked, checking my temperature whilst doing so. 

"I guess. They're all part of the Karasuno boy's volleyball team." I never really thought about it before but I guess the volleyball really are my friends. They're always there for me!

Suddenly, the nurse stopped smiling and shifted to a more serious tone. "We decided to run a blood check just to make sure you're not suffering from anything serious."

"...and?"

"The good news in that you won't have your fever for long and you'll be able to go back to volleyball practice by tomorrow."

"Oh good! Anything else?"

"Unfortunately, you won't be able to play volleyball as well as you used to. If I'm not mistaken you missed a 'toss' as you call it earlier, correct?"

"What does that have to do with anything? Why won't I be able to okay volleyball as well?"

"That would be caused by your fatigue."

"Fatigue? But why do I suddenly have fatigue?"

"Hinata, you have cancer."


	3. Concealed by Wings

"C-Cancer?! What do you mean I have cancer?! How can you be sure?"

I felt my muscles tighten, my breathing getting heavier and more demanding. 

"We ran blood tests and determined that you have cancer. We referred this information to a cancer specialist and they agreed and urged that you book an appointment in order to determine what treatment will work best for you."

Silence.

My tongue tried to counter these facts in disbelief but they wouldn't form any words. 

"To be completely honest," the nurse continued, "we were not expecting to find this. We just wanted to check you were healthy. It's very rare for it to happen, but we found you had leukaemia while checking your health."

‘Leukaemia...but why?’

"Luckily, we caught it in an early stage so it's likely the doctor can get rid of it." The nurse smiled cheerfully. "No need to worry!"

‘No need to worry? NO NEED TO WORRY?!’

"What do you mean...?" The quiet whisper of doubt slipped my tongue but I found I'd lost control of my speech. "What do you mean I don't have to worry? I have cancer and you're trying to tell me everything's okay?!"

"Well, I just meant there's about a 70% survival rate and- "

"70%...that's it?" I felt my arms tremble as I sat up. 

"Hinata, you should really- "

"GET OFF OF ME!" My hand slapped her arm away and the nurse gasped. "HOW CAN YOU TELL ME I'M GOING TO BE FINE? YOU JUST TOLD ME I HAVE CANCER!"

The nurse was silent. 

"Fine..." I stood up, barely about to maintain balance. "Give me the number for the doctor and I'll book an appointment."  
Timidly and in shock, the nurse hastily scribbled down the doctor's name and number and handed it to me with a quivering arm. I aggressively snatched it out of her hand and walked off. 

X

Realising I'd been excused from classes, I decided to walk the scenic route home as oppose to wandering the streets. Thoughts of what the nurse said coursed through my mind. 

‘Leukaemia...what was the survival rate again? 70% I think she said...’

I drew the note with the doctor's details from within my pocket. 

‘Dr. Takahashi. I hope this doctor can help me. The nurse said it was in its early stages so I guess I have no need to worry...but still... There's a chance I won't survive.’

"A chance...I won't survive?"

I haulted and stared blankly at the sky.   
"This disease...it could kill me..."

‘Or maybe she was wrong...she has to be!’

From a distance, I heard someone run in my direction, but I had neither the desire nor the effort to turn around, let alone talk to anyone. But it was unavoidable.

"Hinata!"

‘Huh?’

Startled, my head turned in an unusually slow manner to connect the familiar voice to the person who shouted it. A weakness overtook me as I saw who it was. 

"Sugawara?"

Panting, he rested his arm on my shoulder, trying to catch his breath. For some odd reason, his arm burdened me more than it usually does. 

"Hinata...are you..." He still hadn't caught his breath back, but he had a concerned look on his face. 

"Take it easy! What is it?"

"I just...I just wanted to know if you were okay?" He desperately tried to catch his breath. 

‘How long have you been running for?’

"Y-Yeah. I feel better now!" I knew I was lying, but I didn't see the point in telling him - or anyone for that matter - the truth. 

"You sure? You seem really...cold."

‘Cold?’

He placed his hand on my forehead. "Are you not telling me something?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Of course I'm telling you the truth!"

He drew his hand away, unable to think of anything to say. He paused with a look of doubt on his face. "If you're sure...then I suppose I should believe you." Sugawara tried to appear happy but I could tell he didn't quite believe me. "Anyway," he continued, "why are you going this way home? Wouldn't it be easier to go with Kageyama the way you always do?"

"Well, I suppose it would be easier, but I- " I stopped for a second. "I, er...I wanted to go the scenic way home."

"Any particular reason?" He seemed really concerned. "If anything is wrong you can tell me. You know that, right?"

"Of course! Nothing's wrong!" A fake smile temporarily presented itself on my face but quickly vanished. 

"Are you disappointed in yourself about missing the spike earlier? I must say it's not like you."

"I guess..."

"Is something on your mind?"

"No, it's not that. Maybe it's the illness- " I paused. 

"Hinata?"

"Huh?"

"You stopped suddenly. You were saying something about your illness? Do you have the flu or something?"

"Oh..y-yeah, that's it! I have...the flu..." A cold fear took over me. My body started shaking uncontrollably and my eyes welled up. 

"Hinata? Hinata what's wrong?"

My body temperature was dropping and I started to sweat. Suddenly, my legs collapsed but Sugawara caught me in good time. 

He put his hand back on my head. "You're burning up!" He quickly put me on his back and jogged, tightly holding me. 

"Hold on, Hinata! I will take you home so you can rest!" The tears ran down my face. 

‘No...why is this even happening? How can I play volleyball if I can't even stand properly?’

X

Eventually, we arrived at my house. Sugawara looked back at me.

"This is your house, right Hinata?" I nodded.   
He knocked on the door until my mother opened it.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mrs. Hinata. My name is Sugawara and I'm on the Karasuno boy's volleyball team."

"Oh, you must be Shouyou's friend! How can I help you?" He turned revealing my weak, defeated face. 

"Shouyou!" She took me from him, not holding me, but holding me up. "What's wrong? You look ill!"

"I think he has the flu Mrs. Hinata. He passed out today while practising with Kageyama and then he almost collapsed when I was talking to him on his way home."

"I see...huh? Shouyou, what's that?" She took the note from within my pocket. 

"Mother, no, it's not what it looks-"

"Dr. Takahashi? Who is that?"

I remained silent as a dread and immense pressure overtook me.

"Shouyou, what are you hiding?"


	4. Attempting to Take Flight

"H-Hiding? Me?" I could feel my body shivering slightly. "Why would I hide anything? The school nurse just...she was just a bit worried, that's all."

My mom obviously didn't believe me. I could see it in her eyes. 

"I think we should get Hinata indoors. He's shivering quite violently," Sugawara said in a concerned voice.

‘He's right. I am shivering pretty badly...’

"If it is the flu, I think blankets would also be a good idea."

‘Does Sugawara actually think I have a flu or is he just going along with it?’ I was so tired that it was hard to tell.

Sugawara carried me inside and gentle lied me down on the sofa. My mom put a warm flannel on my head and covered me with a blanket. 

Turning to Sugawara she said, "Thank you for bringing Shouyou here. I'm very grateful." Then she leant in closer, perhaps trying to say something to Sugawara quietly in hopes I was so out of it I wouldn't hear.

"May I speak to you privately for a second?"

Sugawara nodded and they both wandered into the kitchen. I tried to listen to what they were saying but I found it incredibly exhausting, so I just tried to relax. 

X

"Hinata? Are you awake?" My eyes slowly opened only to see a blurry figure looking down at me. 

"Yeah, I am...who is this?"

"It's your father."

"Oh." I couldn't really tell what was happening, but I noticed I was not on the sofa anymore. "Um...where am I? Am I in my bed?"

"We're in the hospital."

"Hospital? Why?"

"Your mother called the number on that slip of paper you had. Doctor Takahashi decided it would be best to give you a check up and start treatment immediately."

"Huh." I was stilled half dazed so I wasn't exactly sure what to say.

Doctor Takahashi gave a run through of what she was going to do. I just nodded, not really paying attention until she took a blood sample from me. After the needle was out and she left the room, I closed my eyes again. 

It wasn't long before my attempts to sleep were interrupted by the doctor. 

"Okay. I ran a blood test and your son does have leukaemia." My parents slouched in their seats. "I recommend we start treatment now. Hopefully you got here in time to reverse the effects."

The doctor left the room. My parents looked at me with a face of sorrow and pity. I had zoned out and wasn't really thinking straight, so I didn't catch what the doctor has said. 

"What did the doctor say?" 

My parents were silent. I knew I had hit a nerve at that point, that my parents' hearts had probably dropped. 

My father began to speak. "She told us that she was going to help you get better."

"Better? Better from what?" 

"From your...your leukaemia." My father struggled getting the words out. 

"I see." My eyes were still heavy and it took me a second to process everything. Sure, I already knew about it but now it was confirmed by a professional. 

The nurse came back in and hooked something up. She began speaking. "This is something to help your body fight off your illness."

‘Is she talking to me?’

"Thank you." I felt my eyes drifting again. "Can I go to sleep please?"

It was hard to tell, but the nurse was smiling. "Of course. You just relax." 

And with that I fell asleep. 

X

I woke up the next morning, looking around. 

‘Oh right. I'm in the hospital, aren't I? So I wasn't dreaming.’

By my bed stood my parents along with some of the members of the volleyball. 

Then I saw him. 

Kageyama stared down at me with the same aggression he had when I hit his head with a volleyball. 

"G-Good morning, everyone!" It felt so weird. Did they see me sleeping? The thought was a bit off putting. 

"Oi Hinata. When were you gonna tell us you were ill? Don't tell me you were hiding it from us because you felt guilty!"

I looked at my parents. It didn't appear that they had told the team what was wrong.   
And Kageyama was too stupid to figure it out. 

"It wasn't that I was trying to hide it. I didn't know I was ill to begin with!"

"Well now you know what's wrong, care to tell us?" Kageyama had a stern look on his face.

My heart dropped. I couldn't possibly tell them I had...cancer. 

"I er...it's nothing too important!" 

My smile was fake. 

"I'll be better soon anyway!"

I didn't believe myself. 

"I'll be playing volleyball with you guys soon, don't worry!"

I was lying. I knew I was lying. But was I lying to them or myself?

My parents looked at me concerned. They seemed to realise I didn't really believe what I was saying but they didn't want to stop me. 

Kageyama sighed. "As long as your sure. I suppose I can't beat it out of you." He turned to sit down on one of the guest chairs. I was a little shocked at this, but Nishinoya and Tanaka stepped forward to see me. 

"Hey buddy, how are ya doing?" Nishinoya smiled trying to cheer me up. I think the team could tell I wasn't feeling great, physically or emotionally. 

"I'm fine. I just feel a bit...tired. That's all."  
Sugawara looked at the floor. Perhaps my mom had told him?

"Hey Hinata, your nose!" Nishinoya said, waving his arms about in a frenzy.   
I put my hand under my nose, then pulled it to my face. 

‘A nosebleed?’

My mom walked over to me with a tissue, smiling and trying to keep me calm. "Don't worry, the doctor said it's normal to get a nosebleed."

Kageyama looked at me sternly. Maybe he knew deep down I wasn't fine, that this wasn't just 'an illness'. Perhaps his behaviour up until now was an indication of that, the harsh tone, the constant grunting, his walking over to the other side of the room, watching me closely. 

But regardless, he remained silent.


	5. Healing Wounds

The days spent in hospital seemed to follow the same, boring routine. For most hours of the day, my mother was there, either sleeping or reading a book to herself, occasionally exchanging a few words or walking out the room to entertain Natsu. Nurses would come in every few hours to check that I hadn't ran out of medication.

When school hours finished, the members of the team in my year would come to see me then head back to school to practice, sometimes accompanied by Nishinoya and Tanaka. With these visits came the awkward moments from a stern Kageyama and a hostile Tsukishima, staring a me the whole time. Then, after practice hours, a few of the second and third years would come, sometimes joined by Kageyama if he didn't come earlier. When they left, my father would visit me, talking to me about anything entertaining that may have happened throughout his day at work. 

This sucked. 

The wires that fed the medication to my body were like chains that refused to let me be free, to let me flee, to let me fly. I hated it. The constant, lonely silence that filled the room, the awkward conversations that I had to keep with everyone, the stories about how much fun everyone was having during their day whilst I was stuck here, staring at the roof: I hated it all.

I was finding it difficult to keep track of who knew what. My parents knew that I had leukaemia, but aside from maybe Sugawara, most of the other team members seemed to be caught in an endless guessing game. They were trying with all their might to find out what was wrong with me and I was trying with all my might to stop them. 

X

Multiple days had passed. It was now a Saturday, my first Saturday at hospital. I had spent most of the morning sleeping until I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door. My mother opened the door and, to my surprise, Kageyama had come to see me. 

"K-Kageyama? What are you doing here? It's Saturday, you should be out having fun or practicing or...anything!"

Kageyama's showed a familiar emotion, one of frustration. "Idiot. I came to see you because you're ill."

My mother very understandably sat there silently, feeling slightly uneasy about the sudden tension. 

"But...you could..."

Before I could finish, Kageyama turned to my mum who was slightly startled by the sudden movement. "Sorry, but could I speak to Hinata alone, please?" He spoke in a surprisingly calm and respectful manner. 

"Yes, of course." My mum carried a sleeping Natsu out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

Silence. 

Unlike the other times where the silence caused me to feel bored or lonely, this silence made me feel nervous and uncomfortable. 

"Hinata," he said, the abrupt speak made me sit up a bit.

"Yes? What is it?" I said, swallowing.

"What's wrong with you?"

‘Huh? What's that supposed to mean?’

"What do you mean what's wrong with me?"

"You have an illness, right? That's why you're in hospital. What illness is it? You must know by now."

I gulped. "Well, I...er..."

"Do you seriously expect me to believe you don't know?" Kageyama said, his voice raising a bit. 

"It's not that, it's just..." I looked down, my eyes beginning to well up. 

Upon noticing, Kageyama let out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit frustrated, that's all." He sat down on the seat my mother normally occupied, a slight look of defeat on his face. 

"Frustrated? Is it because of me?"

Kageyama might have looked back up at me but I couldn't quite tell from the teary blur.  
"No, it's not your fault. I'm just a bit...disappointed?" 

"Disappointed?"

"I thought you were my partner but you're not telling me what's wrong. The whole team has been dreary since you left. Sure, Nishinoya and Tanaka have been trying to lighten the mood, but our laughs seem forced. We're all worried about you. No one knows what's wrong with you and Sugawara keeps zoning out. It's like suddenly everyone is keeping secrets from each other and- "

"Because of me?" I said with a wary voice, tears rolling down my face. "Everyone is suffering...because I'm not there? Why? I'm nothing but a decoy!"

"Idiot!" Kageyama shouted, rushing towards me and slamming his hands onto the bed rails. His hands clasps around the rails tightly. "We're all worried about you! We're a team after all! Don't you get it? We all care about you!"

‘They all...care about me...’

"...why? If you keep worrying about me then you'll lose practice time and you might lose and the next tournament and- "

"Then get better!"

"It isn't that simple!" I shouted at him, grabbing his collar. He stepped back a little, shocked but also frightened. "This isn't something I can just will away! I may never get better!"

"Never get better?"

I paused. 

Pulling my hand back to my side, I sat there, quiet for a few seconds. My body was shaking quite a bit and I felt a sudden coldness.

"Kageyama?"

He looked at me, still trying to regain composure. "Yeah, what is it?"

"I'm scared..."

"Scared of what?"

"This illness...I might die."


	6. Fluttering Wings

"Shouyou? Are you awake?"

Half awake, I searched for the voice. My view finally becoming clear, I noticed the doctor standing beside my bed.

"Y-Yeah...I'm awake."

"Ah good. What would you like for breakfast this morning?"

‘Morning? Wait...I don't ever remember sleeping...what happened?’

"Um, before I answer that, do you know what happened to me yesterday?" 

My mom flinched. 

The doctor looked over to my mum for some sort of permission. My mum nodded in compliance. 

"Your friend, Kageyama, came to visit you."

"Kageyama?" Oh yeah, he did, didn't he?

"It seems you over exerted yourself and passed out. You were out cold for the whole night."

"I-Is that bad?"

The doctor smiled. "Don't worry, it's perfectly normal. Try not to over exert yourself too much in future though, okay?"

"Okay." I looked down at my hands that had clasped together inadvertently. "I...I think I'll just have some toast."

"Of course, I'll be back soon." And with that, the doctor left the room. 

X

No one visited me. The day was nothing but lying around. When I tried to sleep, my body would flinch and wake me up again.   
It was beginning to get late. My family had gone home as my condition was stable. 

Or so the doctors said.

Out of nowhere, I started shaking again, uncontrollably. Sweat covered my body, making me feel excessively warm and feverish. My eyes darted helplessly around the room, searching for a source of comfort, but through my tears eyes all I could see were the blurs of balloons, cards and hospital equipment. My body was boiling all the while, my breathing getting more and more heavy. My head was foggy and aching: My whole body was aching. 

I tried reaching for the button to call the nurses in, but my arm couldn't quite reach. But, out of nowhere...

"Hinata!" cried a worried voice as the door flew open. Turning to my side, I tried to figure out who it was but all I could see were one, no, two tall blurs. 

I felt a coldness on my head, so I put my quivering hand on it, trying to identify it.   
"Don't worry Hinata, it's just an ice pack. There's no need to panic. Kageyama pressed the button to notify the nurses."

"K-Kageyama? The nurses aren't here? Then...who are you?" 

"It's Sugawara. Kageyama really wanted to see you. But don't worry about at right now."

My body started to shake a little more, but not because of the fever. 

"But why d-did Kageyama want to see me?"

"You're speaking as if I'm not here, idiot." Kageyama seemed to be trying to sound annoyed but instead having a hint of worry in his voice. 

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." I started unintentionally crying. I couldn't stop.   
The nurses rushed in with a cold blanket. Sugawara thrusted the hospital blanket off of me and the nurses replaced it with the cold one. 

My body slowly stopped shaking and I began to return to normal temperature.   
Once I finally gained composure, I looked around the room to fully understand what was happening. 

Kageyama was avoiding eye contact with me and Sugawara was sitting on a chair beside me, reading some sort of leaflet. Upon noticing me waking up, he turned to me. 

"Are you feeling better?" asked Sugawara with a gentle smile. 

"Yeah, I think so." I stared at Kageyama for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. "Um, Kageyama?"

He looked at me. Barely. 

"What is it?"

"I was just wondering," I hesitated for a moment then continued, "what did you come here to see me for? Didn't we...have a fight?"

He looked at me intently this time, somewhat fiercely as if I had touched on a sensitive issue. 

"Idiot. We were...talking yesterday. But then you just passed out suddenly half way through. I tried waking you up because you seemed worried about something but you were out cold. I had to go get the nurses. They thought I'd hit you or something."

"Hit me? Why would they think that from passing out?"

"Haven't you noticed?" He looked at me slightly bewildered. 

"Noticed what?"

‘What is he talking about?’

"That bruise on your wrist. I grabbed your wrist when you grasped my collar to try and get you off of me. I don't think I would've done it hard enough to bruise you, though."

I sat their awestruck, unmoving. Sugawara looked at Kageyama with a concerned look. "You know we're supposed to be careful around him! Why would you do that?" He said this in a scolding yet polite manner. 

"I told you, I didn't even grab his wrist with that much force. I barely touched him before he passed out," Kageyama exclaimed with a slightly raised but somewhat shaky voice.

I stared at my wrist in confusion. "There is a bruise. It's huge..."

Sugawara looked at it, carefully supporting my hand with his. "D-Does it hurt?"

"Um...I guess a little."

Kageyama stood up in rage. "I'm telling you, I didn't even hold it with that much pressure! Hinata must be a weakling or something."

With those words, something clicked in Sugawara's brain. 

He pulled out a small leaflet, making sure to hide it from Kageyama, scanning it intensively.

"Hey, are you listening?"

Sugawara ignored Kageyama completely and, after finding what he was looking for, leant in to whisper something to me. 

"Don't worry, apparently easy bruising is just a symptom."

‘Don't...worry? Just a symptom?‘

"I...I hate this." They both looked at me with very startled yet concerned expressions on their faces. "You guys, you're all suffering...because of me..."

‘Please...someone, anyone...’

"I can't take this anymore."


	7. Release from Captivity

The day finally came. It was shining brightly, the amber sun beating down its warmth.

I was finally out of hospital. 

A feeling of relief filled me as I walked wearily out of the hospital doors. At last, my life could return to normal!

...almost. 

You see, I was told by the nurses to refrain from playing volleyball - or any sport of that matter - until they gave the all clear, since it might cause a strain on my bones. This meant that I couldn't play at the next tournament. 

As I walked to school the next day, I was drowned in dread - how was I going to tell the team? How would they react? How would Kageyama react?

No, I shouldn't panic: they'll understand. I just have to be confident. We're a team after all. 

But I couldn't build up the courage to go into the gym. I turned, defeated, and walked the other way. But...

"Oi, Hinata, where are you going?" an angry voice shouted. I spun round, quite startled. It was Kageyama. 

"Oh, um, I'm...just a bit tired so I was going to pass today's practice session." My voice lacked conviction; Kageyama picked up on this. 

His expression became cold, more so than usual. Upon noticing this, Sugawara jogged past him and came to me. 

"H-Hinata, you said you wanted to talk to me in private?" At first these words confused me, but upon noticing that he was trying to cover me, I nodded and walked off with him, leaving behind a discontent Kageyama. 

When we finally stopped, Sugawara looked at me with a gentle expression, quite the opposite of Kageyama's expression. 

"How are you feeling, Hinata?"

My glance dropped to the ground slowly. "I think I'm okay. I still feel extremely exhausted - I was struggling so much to pay attention in class. Actually, I don't think I payed attention at all."

Sugawara smiled. "It's only natural, I suppose. You've gone through a lot of treatment and the emotional stress couldn't have helped you much." He paused and placed a hand on my shoulder before continuing. "But just remember that no matter what, we will all be here to support you and get you through this."

Holding back tears, I smiled and nodded my head. 

"And just remember," he continued, "you can always come to me if anything happens. I know it is probably daunting, thinking about telling everyone else, but since I know about your condition, you can confide in me, okay? No need to hold back."

As if he had somehow cracked open a safe, tears started running down my face as I ran into his arms and bawled. 

I lifted my head slightly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move around the corner. 

"S-Sugawara?" My hands started to shake. 

"What is it? Are you feeling okay?"

"I saw someone...around the corner...did someone follow us?"

Sugawara's face became half stern. "Wait here, I'll go have a look." With that, Sugawara wandered off around the corner.   
This gave me a moment to wipe away tears with my quivering hands. 

"Hinata!" The angry voice returned.   
Slowly, I turned to where the voice came from. 

‘Kageyama? Was he here, too?’

He ran up to me and grabbed me by the collar. "What's the big idea, huh? I know you're hiding something. What is it?"

‘So...he doesn't know? That's a relief.‘

"Ah, it's nothing!" I said, forcing a fake laugh out of my now frail body. Kageyama didn't look impressed. 

He released me from his grip, but his body started to tremble from rage. "Oi, Hinata. I don't know what it is you and Sugawara hiding, but the longer you make us wait, the more agitated it's going to make the team. You know that, right?"

My gaze drifted down. ‘He's right. I need to do something or else everyone will be confused.’

Sugawara came back round the corner. "K-Kageyama? What are you- "

"What is he hiding from me? From us?" I could see that his fingers itched, but he retrained from lashing out at me again. 

Sugawara returned his hand on my shoulder and looked sternly at Kageyama.   
"Kageyama, Hinata just got out of the hospital. We need to respect that he has a lot to take in. Pushing him will only make his recovery all the more difficult. He will tell us - in his own time. Just try to be wait a little longer, okay?"

Kageyama returned Sugawara's glance with a cold stare. "Sugawara, with all due respect, Hinata has to tell us what's going on. Now. I've been doing this patience thing for longer than I should. We...we're a team, right? Back then you told us that."

Ah. I remember. Kageyama and I used to fight, but we were told that, unless our differences were resolved, neither of us could join the team. 

I stare up at Sugawara, a look of defeat taking control of me. 

"S-Sugawara, Kageyama is right. I need to say something or else everyone will hate me."

Sugawara looked at me with a concerned glimmer in his eyes. "Hinata, don't say that, we are all here for you." His attention turned to Kageyama. "And everyone will wait until you feel comfortable enough to tell us what's going on." 

‘No. I must do this. They must know.’

I gently removed Sugawara's hand from my shoulder. His concern spured me to action, an action that somehow came from this weak, useless, incompetent body of mine. 

"Kageyama, gather everyone inside the court. I'll be there in just a second...to tell you - no, to tell everyone - everything."


	8. The Birds Are Singing

I poked my head round the door of the gymnasium with Sugawara by my side. Kageyama had walked in and approached Daichi, tapping his shoulder. He said something, then Daichi turned to the team. 

"Everyone, gather round! Hinata is back!" he yelled. 

Surprised, everyone stopped in their tracks. Nishinoya and Tanaka's faces both lit up as they ran towards the door to greet me. They tried to grab my wrists but noticed that one was already bruised, so instead they just bounced enthusiastically around me. 

"Alright, you two," Sugawara said smiling. "I know you're excited to see Hinata again, but give him some space."

Nishinoya and Tanaka looked at each other slightly confused, then looked back at me and smiled. Sugawara then looked at me with a comforting look on his face, which helped to ease my nerves a little. 

The team gathered in a cluster, waiting for me to enter. Sugawara walked with me and stood next to me as I faced them all. I hadn't seen all of them together like this since before I was put in the hospital. 

I began to sweat nervously. The whole team was staring at me, desperate for an answer. Sugawara once again placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him and he nodded at me reassuringly. 

Looking back at the team, I took a deep breath, then spoke:

"I suppose I'll just get straight to the point." I began shaking a little, but I knew I had to persist. "I have leukemia."

Everyone became silent. The atmosphere became very tense. 

Nishinoya looked at Tanaka, then back at me and spoke: "L-Leukemia? Isn't that a type of cancer?"

My whole body tightened, my eyes welling up. I began to shake a little more. For some reason, I couldn't find the strength to respond. 

Sugawara stepped forward. "Yes, it is."

"I don't understand. I thought Hinata passed out because he had the flu. Are you sure?" Yamaguchi said, his voice quivering a little.

"Hinata was tested multiple times by a specialist. Thankfully, it's in its early stages, and he was being treated for it in the hospital."

"But if Hinata has leukemia, why isn't he in the hospital?" Tanaka said confused.

"Hinata is allowed to go home between sessions of chemotherapy. He was just in hospital for a little while to make sure there were no complications and to have a few tests run."

Kageyama looked at Sugawara with furrowed brows. "Seems like you know an awful lot about this."

"Wait, that's a good point. Why do you know about all of this?" Nishinoya said with a slight tone of aggression in his voice. 

Sugawara closed his eyes and composed his thoughts. He then looked back up at the team. "I found out by accident."

Kageyama's face got intense. "Stop lying! He told you, didn't he?" He yelled. 

I began to shake more. ‘I just want this to stop. This is all my fault!’

Sugawara looked at Kageyama, matching the anger in his face, yet maintaining a level of self-control. "I'm telling the truth. I happened to find out by accident."

I bowed my head suddenly. "I'm sorry! I never intended to keep this from you! I just...I..." I began crying, my body shivering more violently now. 

Sugawara turned around and jogged up to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Hinata, this isn't- "

"We're sorry!" 

When I looked up, most of the team had their heads bowed. Kageyama remained upright, looking at the team slightly surprised. 

Nishinoya raised his head. "I didn't mean to come off as upset or angry. We've just been so agitated and worried about you. We know it must have been hard to have to go through all of this."

I looked at everyone for a moment, then wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my jacket. I then smiled and laughed heartily. Everyone looked at me confused. 

"I don't get it. What's so funny?" Tanaka said. 

"It's just..." I wiped a tear from my eye, trying to regain my composure. "I have been so concerned this whole time, worried about how you guys would react. I kept thinking about how you guys would think I was a failure, how I was bringing the team down, and..."

I clasped my shirt tightly, still chuckling a little. I then burst out into tears, covering my face with my hands. My legs suddenly gave way.

"Hinata! Are you okay?" Sugawara shouted, catching me and slowly helping me to the ground. He then knelt down behind me, his hands on my shoulders.

I felt so pathetic. I could feel my body getting weaker. I could feel the whole team staring at me. I could feel Kageyama's disappointment. 

I heard footsteps coming towards me, but I was crying so much I couldn't see who it was. They knelt down front of me. 

"Oi." I slowly looked up, though I knew who it was. Kageyama looked me in the eyes. He seemed to be angry, but there was a slight hint of guilt in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," he said, catching me off guard a little. "I still don't really get it, but I didn't know how serious your condition was and I acted out in frustration. I should have been more tactful."

He got on his knees and fell facedown in front of me. "I'm sorry."

I stared at Kageyama in silence. I was so shocked that the tears stopped falling. I couldn't hold myself back. 

I burst out laughing. 

Kageyama looked up at me, blushing a little. "W-Why are you laughing?"

I couldn't talk. My chest hurt because of how much I was laughing. The team was quiet for a moment. Nishinoya and Tanaka then started laughing, causing others to join in. Kageyama looked around nervously.

Sugawara tried to speak in between laughs. "I'm sorry, Kageyama! That was so out of character I couldn't believe my eyes!" 

Kageyama's face became more red, clenching his teeth together. He then quickly got up and started shouting at the team who continued to laugh. 

I pulled myself together, and looked at Sugawara. We smiled at one another. He then spoke softly to me. 

"Looks like everything is okay," he said reassuringly. I beamed at him, a final tear rolling down my cheek.

I looked up at everyone. Their faces were lit up again. I smiled gently.

Everything was going to be okay from now on!


	9. Another Feather Falls

I skipped into the court. This morning, I received a text from Kenma, telling me that Nekoma would be visiting to do some practice matches. It had been a while since I'd been with my own team properly, so I wasn't quite caught up on the news. 

Sugawara turned to face me and he waved with a smile before approaching me. "It's nice to see you in such high spirits, Hinata!" 

"Yup!" I replied in a chirpy tone. "It's been so long since I've seen Kenma!"

Sugawara's smile dropped a little. He almost looked...nervous? 

"Say Hinata," he said putting an arm behind his head. "You message Kozume a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do," I replied, tilting my head a little in confusion. "Why?"

"I don't mean to pry, but..." Sugawara looked around cautiously, trying not to catch anyone's attention. "Does he know?"

My heart dropped a little. It had completely slipped my mind. I broke eye contact with Sugawara, scratching my chin.

"Well, I guess I was hoping he wouldn't notice?" My voice shook a little.

Sugawara started to look concerned. "Won't he notice when you're not on the court playing?"

"T-That's true." My face scrunched up a little. How did I not think of any of this before?

Sugawara paused for a moment, and then kindly smiled at me. "Well, it's not for me to decide, but I think it would be best to tell him instead of him finding out by accident." He once again placed his hand on my shoulder. "As your friend, I'm sure he'll understand."

I smiled at Sugawara. "I'll make sure to tell him in person as soon as he gets here!"

"Let me know if you need me." Sugawara smiled, then got called over to Daichi to practice. 

I helped Yachi with doing some smaller tasks - collecting stray balls, getting water for everyone, cheering people on - all at my own pace. The team had to keep telling me to slow down at first, but I soon found a sensible rhythm to work at. I'm so glad the team has taken such good care of me.

"Oi, Captain," said a deep voice suddenly. The whole team turned and looked at the entrance. 

The Nekoma team had arrived!

Daichi and the others quickly jogged up to the team to greet them. I wanted to go over to, but I didn't have my uniform on, so it was very obvious I wasn't participating. I began to get anxious, thinking about what they would do when they noticed. My legs became frozen and I couldn't move. 

Kenma looked around at the team members, then scanned the court and made eye contact with me. I shakily raised my hand to greet him, and he reciprocated. He seemed to want to come over, but something stopped him. Perhaps he didn't want to draw attention to me?

The Nekoma court got settled in, and while everyone was busy, Kenma approached me. 

"Hey Kenma! It's been a while!" I said cheerily. 

"Shoyo, why aren't you in uniform?" Kenma asked, immediately cutting through my façade. 

I gulped. I hadn't quite prepared what I wanted to say, but I knew the longer I delayed, the more likely it was that the others would notice us. 

Kenma suddenly grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. 

He turned to me. "There, a bit of privacy," he said bluntly. "Now, what's wrong?"

I avoided eye contact, trying to figure out what approach to take. 

"I uhh...I'm not feeling well I guess?" I said, placing my right hand on my left arm. 

"'You guess'? What's that supposed to mean?"

I gripped my arm more tightly. Kenma may not be the best at conversations, but he sure was good at analysing people. 

"I guess I'll just go ahead and say it." I closed my eyes and made both hands into fists, my arms both stiffly by my side. 

"I have leukemia." I said slightly raising my voice because of nerves. 

Kenma remained silent, so I opened my eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed slightly. 

"Leukemia?" He looked down to the ground for a moment, then back up at me. "Is it serious?"

I shook my head. "The doctor told me that it's unlikely to really effect me severely. I was in the hospital for a few days for some treatment, and now I just go in every so often to get more treatment. I feel a little weak every now and then, but I've been feeling better lately." I looked down at the floor. "I just can't play volleyball for a little while."

Kenma stared at me for a moment. "Well, in any case," he said, looking off to the side. "Thank you for letting me know. I hope you feel better soon."

"Don't worry! Something like this won't take me down!" I said beaming and bringing my fist into my chest. 

Kenma smiled softly. He then turned and walked back into the court. I followed closely behind him. 

Kuroo jogged over to Kenma. "There you are! What were you and shorty doing outside?" He then looked directly at me with a raised eyebrow. "And why isn't he in his sports gear?"

Before I had the chance to get nervous, Kenma spoke up. "He's not feeling well." He said, completely avoiding eye contact with Kuroo. "Now let's go," he said as he started to walk off. Kuroo looked at me for a second, then followed after Kenma without saying a word. 

Sugawara slowly approached me. He raised his hand up to cover his mouth and whispered into my ear. "How did it go?"

"It went okay! I don't think Kenma really knew how to react, but I said what I wanted to say and it seems that he's going to keep quiet about it."

Sugawara smiled at me, then ruffled my hair a little. "I'm proud of you, Hinata. The past few weeks haven't been easy for you by any means. But despite all that, you've faced it like a champ." He turned his back to me, then looked back at me. "Anyway, I have to go and join the others."

"Of course! Do your best out there, senpai!" We both smiled at one another and turned the opposite way to jog to where we needed to be. 

I took a few steps towards the score board where Yachi was. Suddenly, the room began to spin. I stopped abruptly, trying to regain my balance. I couldn't really see straight, but I think Yachi began to approach me. My head felt like it was being clamped and I could feel my legs giving way. 

Before I knew it, everything was pitch black. I heard muffled voiced. I tried to concentrate on what they were saying.

"H...up...nata...wake...Hinata, wake up!" I opened my eyes slowly. My body felt completely void of strength, yet I was upright. I could feel someone holding me, though their arms were shaking. 

"Hinata, are you okay?" Yachi said in a panicked voice. It seemed like she was talking right into my ear. I could see the Nekoma team looking at me. 

Suddenly, I realised that I had collapsed into Yachi's arms, with my head resting on her shoulder. I pulled back quickly, slightly flustered.

"Y-Yachi?! I'm so sorry!" I said, flailing my arms. I tried to bow in order to apologise, but my head was still somewhat foggy, and I lost my balance a little. Yachi quickly placed her hands on me, helping me to the ground. 

"Don't move around so much! You just collapsed." She then placed the back of her hand on my forehead. "You're burning up!"

The Karasuno and Nekoma teams both jogged towards me, with the members of my team doing so a bit more hastily.

Before they got to me, I blacked out.


	10. Kept in the Cage

I slowly opened my eyes, a flood of light entering my eyes. I was once again trapped in the white prison I was so used to now - the hospital. I would have thought that each visit would make things easier, but it didn't. 

It was different this time, though. I didn't choose to be here. I just...woke up here?

"Hey guys, Hinata's awake!" Nishinoya said, waving his arms in the air. Everyone in the room suddenly turned and fixed their gazes on me. A few of them joined Nishinoya next to my bed - those people were Sugawara, Tanaka and Daichi. The rest of them - Kageyama, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi - stayed sat down. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Sugawara said, his face very obviously displaying his concern for me. 

I still wasn't fully awake, so I simply let out a grunt and nodded. I looked around the room and noticed that my family wasn't in the room. 

"Your family is outside talking to the nurse." Attentive as always, Sugawara addressed my concerns, even without me voicing them.

Just as he said that, a nurse walked in. My mother was outside of my room, but she didn't come in with the nurse. Was she...crying?

"Hinata, how are you feeling?"

My body felt weak and heavy. I was covered in sweat and my head was pounding. 

"I'm- " I suddenly coughed, prompting Sugawara to support my body so that I was sat upright. 

The nurse paused for a moment, then looked down at her clipboard. She then looked back up and observed the people in the room. 

"Uhm, would you like everyone in the room to leave? We have an update on your condition."

‘Condition? I suppose that's why I am here. But what happened?’ I suddenly remembered collapsing in the gymnasium. 

I gently shook my head. The team already knew I was ill and it took me so long to tell them last time. They deserved to know just as much as I did. 

The nurse looked slightly shocked, then looked down at her clipboard again, flipping through the pages. 

Kageyama, growing impatient, stood up and walked towards the nurse. "What's wrong with him?" Kageyama said to the nurse with a tone of aggression. The nurse panicked, tightly gripping her clipboard.

Sugawara approached Kageyama to try and stop him from doing anything impulsively. "Kageyama please, let the nurse- "

Before Sugawara had the chance to finish his sentence, Kageyama shoved him aside without even looking at him, almost pushing him over. 

"No, I need answers! What is wrong with Hinata?!" Kageyama said, raising his voice. 

The nurse scrambled through the papers on her clipboard before dropping it. Sugawara bent down and picked up the paper as the nurse remained stood up shaking in fear. As he was picking up the sheets, his face suddenly became dark. He then stood back up facing away from me, returning the papers to the nurse and positioning himself between Kageyama and the nurse. 

Suddenly, someone else entered the room with her hands in the pockets of her lab coat and a lollipop in her mouth. It was Doctor Takehashi, the doctor overseeing my case. She stood next to the nurse, which caused Sugawara to back off a little.

She looked at Kageyama sternly, which made him flinch a little, then she looked at me. I stiffened up a little. She then took a hand out of her pocket and removed the lollipop from her mouth to speak. 

"Are you sure you want your friends here for this conversation?" she said to me, though it sounded more like a warning to everyone else. 

Tsukishima quietly stood up and began to walk out of the room, with Yamaguchi following closely behind. 

I raised my hand to convince them to stay, but by the time I went to speak, they had already left. Daichi also signalled to Nishinoya and Tanaka to leave. I clenched my fists, closing my eyes. 

‘This wasn't what I wanted! I don't want everyone to leave! I don't want to be left here alone again!’

I then felt a hand firmly grasp my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Sugawara. He had a compassionate yet troubled look on his face. It seemed like he was hiding something, but he kept smiling, trying not to make me worry. 

Kageyama quietly sat down on a nearby chair, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Even though it was him that Doctor Takehashi was giving the threat to, he just sat there, slouched in his seat. 

I stared at the doctor, patiently waiting for her to speak. She looked at Kageyama for a moment, almost as if she was telling him to sit their quietly. 

She then looked to the nurse and nodded, which caused the nurse to bow her head and run out of the room in a panic. Her gaze then returned to me. "Is it okay for these two to still be here?" 

I nodded at her. She twiddled the lollipop in her hand for a moment, then she stopped and made eye contact with me. 

"I'm afraid to say that you have developed pneumonia."

Sugawara tightened his grip on my shoulder. "Pardon my interuption, but pneumonia is something that goes away naturally after a few days, right? So why does he need to be in the hospital?" His voice shook a little as he spoke.

Doctor Takehashi sighed, looking at the ground. "Normally having pneumonia wouldn't be an issue. A healthy person can normally fight it off with plenty of rest and water." She then looked back up at Sugawara. "The issue is that, because Hinata has leukemia as well, his body isn't able to fight off the pneumonia as well as a healthy person could."

Sugawara paused for a moment before responding. "B-But, surely that just means it will take longer for Hinata to recover, right?"

"Not exactly. You see, Hinata's leukemia is something that can be managed to reduce his symptoms, but his immune system is still weak. Whereas someone healthy can easily fight off an infection, Hinata's body is less equipped to do so. Though it's unlikely, it's possible that the pneumonia could continue to develop in Hinata, so we need to be prepared for every situation."

She stopped and looked at me. I gulped, my nervousness reaching its peak. Sugawara was gripping my shoulder so tight that it should have hurt, but my attention was so fixed on Doctor Takehashi that I couldn't feel it. Kageyama remained silent, though he did seem to also tense up a little. 

Doctor Takehashi then spoke again. 

"Hinata, this pneumonia could kill you."


	11. Clipped Wings

It had been three days since I was taken to the hospital and told I had pneumonia. My illness had gotten worse over the past few days. Most of my time was spent lapsing in and out of consciousness because of the pneumonia. Every time I woke up, someone different would seemingly be by my side, but my head was always so foggy that I couldn't tell. I couldn't remember talking to any of them. I felt so hopeless...

Today was a little different. I still felt very hot due to the fever and my body was shaking, but I felt more alert. I looked down to see my body covered in blankets. 

"They're cooling blankets," a voice spoke cheerily. I looked to my side to see Sugawara by my bedside. "Good morning, Hinata!" He grinned ear to ear, perhaps to make me feel at ease. 

"Hey Sugawara," I said in a strained voice. 

Sugawara looked over to the other side of the room. "Look who's here to see you!"

A wave of anxiety loomed over me. Is it Kageyama?!

"You don't have to look so petrified, Shoyo..."

I looked to my side and was pleasantly surprised to see Kenma looking up at me with a handheld console in his hands. He looked up at me with a slightly bothered expression, perhaps because he thought I wasn't happy to see him.

"Kenma? What are you doing here?" 

He looked back down at his console and seemingly resumed his game. After a few seconds, he responded, "I've been waiting for you wake up."

I was a little confused. Kenma glanced up at me, then sighed and put down his console.

"You collapsed before we could do our practice match and you were rushed to the hospital. Obviously I was curious what happened. Sugawara-san caught me up on everything yesterday."

"You were here yesterday?"

"Mhm." He anxiously looked around the room before fixing his gaze to the floor. "The hospital staff have been letting me stay at the hospital thanks to your mother's request."

"What about the rest of your team?"

He paused again. "Most of them went home. Kuroo has been staying with me, though he usually doesn't come into the room. He doesn't know about your leukemia, but the nurse told him you have pneumonia." Kenma looked up at me. "I think he knows something else is wrong, but he feels it's too inappropriate to ask, and it's not my place to tell him."

"Oh, I see." I looked up at the ceiling. I wasn't entirely sure how to respond. Sugawara has been by my side through most of this, and now Kenma has begun to put himself out for me, too. 

Before I had the chance to say anything, a nurse walked into the room with a food trolley. "Are we feeling well enough today to eat, Hinata-san?" she said with a smile.

I quietly nodded. I tried to sit up but I was still very weak and I couldn't support myself. I started coughing before Sugawara gently pushed me back down. 

"Easy, Hinata!" he said in a worried voice. 

The nurse then came around the opposite side of the bed to Sugawara and the two of them adjusted my bed so I was in a somewhat upright position. 

The nurse then bowed a little, then said, "I'll leave you to it once again," and walked out of the room.

Once again? What did she mean?

Kenma suddenly stood up to wheel the trolley next to me. He picked up a spoon and was about to put food on it before there was a knock on the door. 

The door was opened quickly and, much to my dismay, it was Kageyama. He looked at me, Sugawara and Kenma, then looked at the food trolley. 

Without saying a word, he stormed in, grabbed the spoon from Kenma's hand and scooped some food into it. 

He lifted his arm up and was about to ram the spoon down my throat before Sugawara grabbed his arm. I didn't even noticed him coming round the bed to Kageyama's side since my gaze was fixed on Kageyama. 

While Sugawara tried to back Kageyama away from the bed, Kenma looked at me with a panicked expression. "S-Shoyo, are you okay?" 

I was not okay. My whole body was shaking furiously and I could feel my face freezing up, my eyes watering slightly. 

"I-I'm fine!" I said then nervously chuckled. 

Daichi then burst into the room. He smiled at me and waved, then grabbed Kageyama's collar and dragged him out of my room. I had no idea what just happened.

Sugawara let out a sigh of relief, then looked at me. "Sorry Hinata!"

"W-What was that all about?" I said, still a little shaken. 

"I think Kageyama had been wanting to talk to you, but every time he's visited you, you've been so feverish that you spouted...well, I suppose all I can call it is nonsense. I guess when he saw you awake, he assumed you weren't actually awake and acted out of frustration, thinking you wouldn't remember it anyway."

"Oh, I see..." I began to get very curious about the things I had said while being feverish, but something was weighing on my mind more than that. 

Kenma picked up a spare spoon gingerly and then looked at me with a slightly scrunched face. "O-Open up, Shoyo." He then mumbled, "I promise I won't attack you like Kageyama-san was going to," which made Sugawara chuckle a little. 

I opened my mouth up and let Kenma feed me. It was super embarrassing for me, but I could tell that Kenma was feeling super uncomfortable too. After all, this wasn't exactly in his comfort zone. Sugawara was sat by my bed again, but he was on his phone, probably to avoid making the situation any more awkward. 

Eventually at some point, when Kenma was about to feed me another spoonful of food, I kept my mouth closed and averted my gaze. 

"Is everything okay, Shoyo? Are you not hungry anymore?" His voice sounded like he was troubled and I could tell that Sugawara was now paying attention to me again.

There was a lump in my throat. I wanted to tell them, but they'd been so kind to me that I didn't want to make them feel any more pity for me. 

"If you're not feeling well, please say so," Sugawara said. 

"That's not what it is, right Shoyo? There's something else bothering you." As helpful a skill it was, sometimes Kenma's attention to detail bothered me. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see both of their faces. Kenma seemed worried yet angry, and Sugawara looked surprised, probably because of what Kenma said so suddenly. 

After being silent for a few seconds, I somehow found the courage to speak up. 

"Why..." I said quietly. "Why are the two of you putting yourself out for me so much?"

Sugawara's face became more concerned while Kenma's looked more angry. 

"Hinata, what do you mean?"

"It's just...you're both doing so much to help me, even though it's probably use- " I suddenly choke on my words and tears stream down my face. 

Sugawara began to reach out his hand to comfort me. 

"IT'S USELESS!" I screamed, making both of them flinch. 

I began to weep, constantly wiping away my tears with my shaky arms. The both of them stayed quiet. 

"It's like Doctor Takehashi said - this pneumonia is going to kill me! You should be focusing on yourselves, not me!" 

"Hinata, I- "

"PLEASE, JUST LET ME DIE!" 

I yelled without thinking. I stared down at my bed, then closed my eyes. I didn't want to see them. I didn't want them say anything. 

I just wanted them to leave.


	12. The Cat and The Crow

The room was silent. 

I desperately closed my eyes, gripping the bed covers tightly with my hands. I couldn't believe I'd blurted out something so stupid. The longer the silence continued, the more anxious I became. 

"Do you really mean that?" 

I flinched a little then opened my eyes slowly and looked up at Kenma. Although he had spoken in a soft tone, he looked furious. 

I gulped. I didn't know what to say. Both me and Sugawara were in a stunned silence. 

Kenma looked to the side. It was almost as though he was forcing himself to hold back.

"I understand that you're scared, Shoyo. But do you honestly think you're the only one fighting at the moment?"

Huh? I had no idea what Kenma meant, but I didn't have the courage to ask. 

He looked at me again. "You're the one with the illness - you have the hardest battle to face. But do you really think that you're alone in this battle? Do the rest of our feelings not matter?"

Without thinking, I began to speak again: "What are you talking about? This is my illness, my battle! You could never understand what I'm going through. I just wish you'd all leave me alone! That way I could just die without becoming a burden to anyone!"

Kenma raised his hand, then quickly grasped the bed railings. He was very clearly trying to stop himself from hurting me, unlike Kageyama who couldn't control himself. 

"Shoyo, are you really saying you'd rather be alone in all this? None of us are put out by you. We are all here because we want to help you get better."

"What if I never 'get better'? What if you are stuck with me until I die?"

Kenma snapped.

"Quit being so selfish!" 

Selfish?

"Are you really trying to tell me that we don't matter? We all care about you and are working hard to help you get better. Does that not matter to you? Are you really willing to throw away everything you've built with everyone just because you might die?"

"Kenma, please." Sugawara stood up and extended his arm out to Kenma, who quickly slapped his hand away impulsively.

"If you are really afraid you are going to die, wouldn't you rather do everything you could to fight it? Asking for help doesn't make you weak. We are all a team! We are all working our hardest to help you, so why are you giving up on us?!"

The room fell silent again. Sugawara then suddenly spoke up. 

"Kozume has a point." He looked at me. "Everything I've done for you has been because I care about you. Everything the team has done for you - texting you, asking you if you're okay, coming to visit you - it's all because they are doing their best to support you. Are you saying none of that matters, that we are just getting in your way?"

Tears started to build up in my eyes again. 

"No...I'm glad you guys have been here. I just- " I once again choked, but instead of being overcome with grief, I tried to compose myself so I could speak again. 

"I just don't understand how you can bear to be with me. I'm so helpless. I'm literally being spoon-fed by you guys. I just don't understand why you see the need to have to put yourselves out for me when all I am doing is becoming a burden to you."

"You're our friend, Shoyo. We all need help sometimes. And you're not a burden. You're ill and that's not your fault. We are all helping you because we care about you and we want you to live, to be you again."

Surprisingly, Kenma took the hand that was gripping the rails and used it to grip his shirt near his chest. "Because of you, I began to really enjoy playing volleyball. Even though we are complete opposites, you managed to talk to me like I was any other person, to pay attention to me and to really take an interest in me. I'll never forget that. And that's why I want to help you the same way you helped me."

Sugawara smiled softly and looked at me. "When I first saw you jump the first time we met, I was so amazed. I didn't expect you to be able to jump so high. And ever since that day, you've continued to grow and get stronger, not just in volleyball, but in many aspects of your life. Your willingness to continue to grow despite being at a disadvantage because of your height inspired me to do better, and I'm sure everyone on the team would agree. You're always so positive and full of energy that being around you makes everyone happy. I think everyone misses that Hinata. They don't want to see you suffering like this and so we are all doing our best to support you so that you can be you again!"

I started crying again. Just a moment ago, I felt so hopeless and lost, but now I felt somewhat hopeful. Knowing how much everyone was fighting for me made me feel as though I ought to fight, too. I didn't want to be like this - I wanted to be strong!

"I want to live. I want to play volleyball again!"

Kenma and Sugawara looked at each other and smiled, then looked back at me. Kenma then began to speak in a soft voice.

"Mm. Let's win this, Shoyo."


	13. Soar

It had been a day since Kenma and I had our fight. The atmosphere in the room lifted significantly since then. Unfortunately, he had to leave the next day to go home, but he assured me that he would keep in touch - both with me and Sugawara. 

In the room now, there was just me and Sugawara. We both were having a casual conversation until he received a text. 

"Ah, I'm sorry Hinata, I need to head out," he said as he stood up. 

"Head out? Where are you going?" I inquired. To my knowledge, he didn't have any prior plans and I didn't hear anything about volleyball practice. 

"Ah, it's nothing important! My uhh, my mother just asked me to pick up a couple bits from the shop. I'll be back soon!" Sugawara was visibly uncomfortable, but I tried to ignore it. I was in a somewhat euphoric sense of enthusiasm, so I was doing my best not to overthink things. 

He said goodbye and then left the room. Now it was just me and my thoughts.

I did my best to ignore the negative thoughts in my head, but the longer I was alone, the harder it became. There was nothing to fill the silence - no one to talk to, nothing to do to distract myself.

Just as the floodgates were about to crack open, my phone went off. I gathered the strength and extended my arm to grab it. 

It was a message from Kenma. 

"Hey Shoyo. How are you? Sugawara-san said you're alone right now."

I smiled softly. I should have known Sugawara would look out for me. I responded to Kenma's message, assuring him I was okay. My mood suddenly lifted once again. I wasn't alone. Even if no one was with me physically, I still everyone's support and I was in their thoughts. 

Kenma decided to call me. I gladly accepted, putting my phone on speaker and setting my phone down on my lap. 

We talked for what felt like hours. It was reassuring to hear Kenma's voice. The conversation meandered between topics - volleyball, our friends, what games were popular now, etc. I didn't really care about what we were talking about, I just felt contend having someone to talk to.

[X]

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. 

I looked down at my phone and saw that my call with Kenma had ended. I had a message from him saying: "Enjoy your nap. Call me whenever you need to talk." 

‘Did I...fall asleep?’

I rubbed my tired eyes then remembered that someone had knocked on my door. "Come in!" I yelled. 

The door opened slowly, which made me feel a little uneasy. Sugawara peered his head round the door. 

"Is everything okay, Hinata?" He said it in a comedically suspicious tone. 

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's just me in here."

"Oh, I see, I see," he said, closing his eyes and putting his hand to his chin. He nodded and smirked, then looked at me. "Well..."

He slowly opened the door a little, creeping through the gap of the door until he suddenly flung it open. 

"Surprise!" yelled what appeared to be the whole Karasuno team, startling me a little. 

"E-Everyone! What are you all doing here?" I said, stumbling on my words a little. 

Nishinoya pushed through everyone enthusiastically and ran up in front of my bed, acting very giddy. "We came to cheer you up, Shoyo!"

Daichi walked over next to Nishinoya, seemingly to make sure he didn't do anything outrageous. He put his hand on his hips. "We were all free so we decided to visit you to see how you were doing."

"You definitely look better," Tanaka-san said, beaming. 

I felt super warm inside. Seeing everyone here smiling with me filled me with such hope and determination. It was just like Kenma said - they're all fighting alongside me!

Kiyoko-san came over to the front of my bed holding a cake. "The doctor said it was okay for you to have some. I thought we could all share it."

Kiyoko-san sat the cake down and began to cut it into slices for everyone. Yachi-san pulled out some paper plates and forks. They brought in some chairs from other rooms and all sat down in the room, eating the cake. We all talked and laughed. It was like I was back in the gym with everyone, having fun with them and sharing memories with them. 

Kageyama looked at me, then looked away. When there was a lull in the conversation, he suddenly spoke up. 

"I'm sorry."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

He paused for a second and the room became silent. "Even though you were struggling, all I cared about was that you didn't tell me what was happening. I made this whole thing about myself when I should have just respected your wishes and done my best to help you."

Everyone's eyes were fixed on Kageyama. They were all very quiet, almost as though they were mesmerised by what just happened. 

I smirked cheekily. "Come on now, Kageyama. It's not like you to get all apologetic!"

His head jolted up. "Hey, I was trying to- " he shouted, then paused looking at me. 

"Is something wrong, Kageyama?" I said, tilting my head slightly. 

"It's nothing. I just...wasn't expecting you to make a joke about it." I could see everyone's expressions dropping a little, as though they were anticipating what Kageyama was about to say. "Suga-san told us that you'd been a bit rough lately, so we all came here to cheer you up, but you seem like your usual self."

The atmosphere dramatically shifted. There was a looming gloominess. Sugawara looked like he was trying to come up with something to say on my behalf, but it didn't feel right for him to have to constantly defend me. 

"You're right," I spoke up suddenly, causing everyone's heads to lift and look at me. "I haven't been feeling like myself recently. I'm so used to being full of energy and practicing with you all, so having that taken away from me almost felt like I'd lost a part of myself. I began to think that there was no hope for me." I paused for a moment, making my hand into a fist and bringing it to my chest. "But thanks to all of you, I've realised that I'm not alone. All of you are fighting alongside me, trying your best to make me feel better and get over this illness. I know now that there's no reason to be pessimistic. I should do my best to recover, to be able to fight with you all again!"

Once again, the room fell silent, this time in bewilderment. Slowly but surely, everyone's face began to light up. 

"That's right, Shoyo!" Nishinoya said cheerfully. "We all have your back! Besides, there's no way someone like you can be taken down by something like this."

Sugawara then turned to look at me. "And Hinata," he said softly. "Just remember that you're never alone, okay? We are all here for you."

I smiled cheerfully. "Of course, Suga- "

I suddenly began coughing. I couldn't control myself, but I felt breathless, like there was something stuck in my throat. 

I covered my mouth with my hand. Once I had stopped coughing, I looked down at my hand. 

‘B-Blood? Why now?’

My breathing became more rapid and laboured. I felt my body getting warmer and warmer. 

Through my blurry eyes, I could see that everyone had stood up from their seats, looking at me with a panicked expression. 

Suddenly, I blacked out.


	14. Broken Wings

The following contains spoilers for the Haikyuu manga, chapter 387. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, a darkness loomed in my room. I found it difficult to breathe, like my head was constantly underwater. Just when things were starting to look up, this illness had to ruin things for me again. I couldn't believe it...

Sugawara, Kenma and the others did their best to comfort me, telling me to keep fighting, but my hope was one again fleeting. I broke down on a call to Kenma, but unlike last time, he simply stayed quiet and let me vent. I couldn't see his face, but I got the feeling from what he did say that his feelings were akin to mine. 

Sugawara was sat next me as he usually was, mostly just talking about random things to try and cheer me up and keep things feeling 'normal', but my chest hurt so much that I mostly ignored his simple talk, not to mention how fatigued I felt. 

There was an unexpected knock at the door. I turned my head to Sugawara and nodded, giving him permission to let the person in. 

It was Kageyama. 

"Oh, hey Kageyama!" Sugawara said, trying to keep a cheery tone. Kageyama looked at me with an underlying pain in his eyes, then looked away. He seemed to be bothered by my appearance somehow, almost as if he was disturbed by it. It seems Sugawara also picked up on his unease. 

"Is something wrong, Kageyama?" He remained silent, still refusing to make eye contact with either of us. 

"...can I speak to Hinata alone, please?" he said almost whispering. His eyes met Sugawara's, though he kept his head facing downwards. "Don't worry, I won't hurt him this time."

Sugawara looked at me with a concerned look on his face, but I figured that given Kageyama's demeanour, he was more likely to just leave the room than he was to attack me, so I nodded. 

It was now just me and Kageyama in the room. He continued to stand at the end of my bed, not saying anything. I would speak up, but I didn't have the strength, plus I wanted to give Kageyama the chance to say what he wanted to say.

"Hinata, are you..." he began speaking before pausing again, almost as though he were choking on his words. He suddenly lifted his head and looked at me in the eye. He still seems somewhat uncomfortable, but he had a serious look in his eyes. 

"Are you scared of death?" I stared at him with a bewildered expression. I didn't expect him to ask such a question and I wasn't exactly sure how to respond.

"I don't know," I said in a pathetically weak voice. 

"I see." Kageyama once again broke his eye contact with me and looked at the floor. He then reluctantly walked over to the side of my bed and sat in the chair next to me. I tilted my head to the side to look at him. It was clear he wasn't finished with what he wanted to say, but at least having him sit next to me was easier for me than me lifting my head to look at me. Could it be that he figured that out and sat next to me to make me more comfortable?

"Uhm..." he said, then gulped. I could tell he was very uncomfortable at this point, but I wasn't sure whether to intervene or let him speak. 

"My grandfather was someone very special to me," he continued, trying to push past his own discomfort. "He was the one who made me want to play volleyball as a setter. He taught me so many things about volleyball - what to do, what not to do. I admired him so much...but..." 

Kageyama went quiet again. He looked very upset. Whatever he was talking about, it must be very personal for him to be acting like this. It almost looked like he might...cry?

"He passed away when I was in middle school." 

The room fell silent. I wasn't exactly sure what to say. Was there anything I could say in this situation? I never expected to hear anything like this from Kageyama of all people. 

"Before he died, he said to me: 'If you get really good at volleyball, I promise you somebody who's even better will come and find you.' I enjoyed volleyball so much and I wanted to play long matches with people, so I waited for a long time to find that person. Then when I entered high school..."

He paused, then looked up at me. 

"I met you."

I stared at him bewildered. My eyes began to blur my vision as I started crying. Kageyama looked at me with a somewhat shocked expression. 

"Does your chest hurt?" he said, slightly panicked. 

"It's not that..." I began to say in a laboured voice. I wiped my tears and tried to compose myself. 

"You were the first person I faced in a real match, and felt crushed when I lost. Then when I found out you'd joined Karasuno - my dream team - those feelings of disappointment came back to me. But meeting you and everyone else on the team..." I cried a little harder. "I finally got to fulfil my dream of playing in intense matches with everyone on the team facing against strong opponents."

Kageyama's eyes widened. He looked away from me, this time so that I couldn't see his face. I could hear him sniffling - perhaps he felt the same way as I did. After what happened on his old team, it only makes sense that he was happy to finally be part of such a strong team that accepted him.

We both composed ourselves, then I turned to talk to Kageyama. 

"Thank you, Kageyama."

"For what?" 

"You helped me finally see the view from the other side of the net. You helped me grow and to become a better volleyball player. I couldn't have asked for a better partner."

My eyes began to water again. 

"Thank you for helping me fly."


	15. Icarus

The only noises to fill my room was the sound of my own laboured breathing, my coughing and the vitals machine beeping to the rhythm of my pulse. My whole body was tight and aching - I had never felt so much pain in all my life. 

No one was with me - everyone from my team was out at practice. I was alone. 

My phone lit up and began vibrating. I used all my strength to lift my arm and grab my phone. Kenma was calling me - I accepted. 

"Hello?" I said in a crackled voiced before coughing. 

"Shoyo, are you okay? You sound really bad."

"I'm fine, I'm just in a bit of pain right now."

"Then you should be resting. I can go if you want me- "

"No, don't!" I said almost yelling. I paused for a moment before speaking again. "Please don't go. I need someone to talk to right now - I don't want to be alone."

"Wait, does that mean no one is with you right now?"

I shook my head before realising he couldn't see me. "Uhh no, it's just me."

"I see." Kenma went quiet. Even so, just knowing he was there was comforting. He always spoke in a soft voice, which was a refreshing change from Karasuno's energetic demeanour. 

"Anyway," Kenma spoke up suddenly. "I am headed over to the hospital now. I had some free time, so I decided to come and see you."

"You are coming over now?"

"Yeah. Me and Kuroo are on our way. We should be about 30 minutes."

"Oh..." I was at a loss for words. 

"Would you rather we didn't come over?" Kenma said, sounding slightly concerned. 

"No no no, it's not that, it's just...I feel bad."

"Feel bad?"

My chest felt tighter, almost making it impossible to breathe. 

"Everyone has been so kind. You and Kuroo have travelled such a long way to come to see me and- "

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. 

"Hinata? It's Sugawara and Kageyama. Can we come in?"

"S-Sure!" I said as loud as I could. 

Sugawara slowly opened the door, peering his head round. 

"You're on the phone?" Sugawara said. 

"Oh yeah, but you can come in. It's Kenma."

"Is someone there?" Kenma asked. 

"Yeah, it's Sugawara and Kageyama."

"I see. Well, I have to go now, but I will see you really soon." 

"Okay Kenma, I can't wait to see you. Travel safe!" 

I placed my phone back on the surface top next to me. Sugawara and Kageyama stood at the end of my bed, staring at me. I was in so much and I felt so weak, but I tried to put on a brain face so that I didn't worry them.

"Hey guys, how are you do- "

Suddenly, I started coughing. Sugawara rushed over to grab a metal tray for me to cough into. Sure enough, blood came out. 

Kageyama seemed heavily disturbed, maybe because of what we talked about yesterday.

"S-Sorry about that!" I said, trying to sound cheery, but my voice wavered and came out faintly. 

Sugawara gently pushed me back into a lying position. 

"There's no need to force yourself. We can leave if you need to rest."

"No, please stay! I'll go crazy if I'm left alone again," I said, forcing a chuckle out. Neither of them seemed to find my jokes funny. In fact, both of them seemed to have a looming despair about them. 

I was doing my best to stay optimistic - not just for my sake, but for theirs too. After all, it was only a few days ago that Kenma and Sugawara convinced me to have hope, and now both of them seemed defeated somehow. 

"So uhh, how was practice?" I enquired, desperately trying to shift the mood. 

It seems Sugawara picked up on my attempts.

"It was...it was good!" He forced a smile, trying his best to support my efforts to lift the mood. "Kageyama was on top form as usual, right Kageyama?"

Kageyama refused to respond, simply deciding to stare at the ground. 

I began getting anxious, my chest constricting more and more. 

"Hey Hinata, are you okay? You're going pale!" 

I started coughing more aggressively than usual, to the point where I struggled to breath. Sugawara leaned me forward, holding the metal tray in front of me with one hand and had his other hand placed on my back. 

I heard the heart rate monitor beeping more rapidly as I tried to cough into the tray. Sugawara began looking worried and his hands started shaking. 

"K-Kageyama quick, click the button to call the nurses!"

Kageyama rushed over to the other side of the bed and pushed a button. 

I suddenly felt very light headed. My body fell backwards onto my bed. 

"Hinata? Hinata!" The nurses were yelling at me. 

I opened my eyes a little, realising I had an oxygen mask on my face, yet somehow I still couldn't really breathe. 

The room began darkening, voices becoming less clear. My body felt cold. 

I didn't feel pain anymore. I chuckled a little. 

"What's happening?" Kageyama shouted out. 

"Someone call Doctor Takehashi!" I heard one of the nurses saying. 

"Hinata, stay with us, please!" Sugawara said, his voice cracking a little. Somehow, his words left no impact.

‘Is this...what dying is?’

Time slowed down as memories of the past flooded my mind - seeing the Little Giant on the TV, my loss against Kageyama and Oikawa, our victory over Aoba Johsai and Shiratorizawa. 

My body felt numb to the point where it didn't feel like it was a part of me. I heard the muffles of people shouting and crying, but none of it was clear and somehow all of my worry vanished. Perhaps I had finally accepted what this illness entailed. 

A single tear fell down my face.

"Thank you...for giving...me wings."

My eyes closed slowly, the world fading to black. 

[Kenma's POV]

I returned my phone to my pocket as I approached the door. I turned back to look at Kuroo, who gave me a thumbs ups. 

I grabbed the door knob to Shoyo's room, twisting it slowly. I gently pushed open the door. 

"Hello, Sho- "

Before I could finish my words, the sound of a constant beep rung throughout the room. Stood on either side of the bed was Sugawara and Kageyama, along with a few nurses. They were staring blankly at the ground beneath them. 

I stood forward towards the bed, my heart filling with dread.

There, lying lifelessly in his best, was my friend.


	16. Epilogue - Part One

[Sugawara's POV]

It was a sunny day in spring. I had arrived earlier than everyone else it seemed - not that I could blame anyone. 

Today was the day of Hinata's funeral. 

People soon began to arrive, not just those from Miyagi, but from all over. Not a single person looked happy. I finished offering my condolences to the Hinata family when I noticed that Kageyama was seemingly missing. Did he decide to skip out?

I searched around the area to find Kageyama quietly sitting under a tree, facing the opposite direction to me. 

"Hey Kageyama! I am surprised to find you here - I figured maybe you had decided not to come." 

Kageyama remained silent. 

"So uhh, what are you doing over here anyway? The funeral is about to start." 

He lifted his head up to the sky, almost as if he was deep in thought. I waited for a few seconds before turning around and walking to head back to where everyone else was. 

"When I first started playing volleyball," he said suddenly, causing me to stop and turn back around. "Both my grandfather and sister played with me. But soon, I was the only one playing. I no longer had anyone who appreciated volleyball as much as I did and who put as much effort into practicing and matches. I thought I wouldn't ever find someone on my level."

He looked down again. "But then, when I got to Karasuno, I found out me and Hinata would be on the same team. My first encounter with him had me thinking he was just another kid who played volleyball as a joke. But I soon found out that I was wrong. The fire of passion I had for volleyball resonated in him too. He wasn't just a rival, he was a partner. And yet..."

He paused again. I patiently waited, giving him a chance to respond. 

"Yet I never found the time to properly commend him, to tell him how much he meant to me. All I ever did was belittle him."

My body jerked forward, causing me to heavily plant my right foot in front of me. 

"Kageyama, listen to me. No one could have anticipated what happened to Hinata. Even if you think you had a negative impact on him, you didn't - you did the opposite. He helped him to see the other side of the net, to give him the ability to push himself. That wasn't just because you were a setter that could match his abilities - it was also because you were an influential opponent that he didn't want to lose to."

I walked closer to Kageyama, who looked over his shoulder at me. 

"More than that, you were a friend and a partner to Hinata. Please never forget that. Hinata wouldn't want you to sit here thinking about all the 'what ifs'. He would want you to smile confidently and move forward."

Kageyama broke eye contact with me, before closing his eyes and smiling softly.

"Thank you, Sugawara-san." He stood up and looked at me again. "I'm ready to go now."

The two of us walked back to everyone else silent, both with a strange sense of peace. 

We soon arrived back to where everyone was gathered - some were crying, others didn't show their grief.

Among those was Kenma, who was stood next to Kuroo, quietly stared at Hinata's coffin with a somewhat agitated expression. I wanted to approach him, but I figured that would make things uncomfortable for him. Being at a funeral for his friend was probably bad enough for him. 

Those who were talking suddenly fell silent. Everyone's attention was suddenly fixed on the same person. 

The funeral had started.


	17. Epilogue - Part Two

[Kenma's POV]

It hasn't been that long since I met Shoyo, but somehow he had a profound impact on me. He left an impression on me that I could never shake. 

I was hoping to get the chance to play him in an official match one day, but cheesy as it sounds, real life wasn't like some video game. Things don't always wrap up neatly in a bow, the hero doesn't always get to fight the final boss. 

I don't care for funerals much. The atmosphere is always so gloomy, which makes me feel uncomfortable. I wanted to go home, but I also wanted to show support for those who cared for Shoyo. Plus, I don't think I'd ever forgive myself if I didn't come. Something as important as this - it would be rude of me not to put myself out there for him. 

All through the funeral, I stared at Shoyo's coffin, almost zoning out of the atmosphere around me. All I could remember was what happened that day, the image of him laying their, not moving. I told Shoyo I'd be there for him, that I'd see him soon. 

But I was too late. By the time I arrived, Shoyo was already gone. 

I had all the typical thoughts you would have at times like this. "If only I'd gotten there sooner", "I shouldn't have gone home", "I should have been with him". But as Kuroo had already said to me, there was nothing I could have done. These things just happen.

After the service, people scattered, breaking off into smaller groups. Kuroo remained stood by my side. 

"You okay, Kenma?" He looked at me with a mild concern in his eyes. He was probably a bit concerned due to how quiet I'd been, but was also aware that I wasn't the type to express grief openly. 

"I'm fine, Kuroo. Don't worry." I said, smiling up at him softly. 

"You sure? I mean, this is Shrim- I mean, Hinata we are talking about here."

"I know. Shoyo was my friend, so it seems reasonable to conclude that I should be devastated right now. But knowing Hinata, if he saw us all here crying, don't you think he would get a bit mad?"

Kuroo looked up, smiling a little. "I could totally see him going off at everyone. He isn't the type to let himself get down for too long."

I looked away from Kuroo, closing my eyes before speaking. "Exactly. Shoyo was the type to lift people's spirits. He had his moments of despair, but it didn't take long for him to bounce back. When I think about Shoyo, I don't want to think about all of my regrets, about all the times he couldn't smile. I want to remember the strong, driven person I became friends with. The one who melted away my social barriers, who continued to face every challenge with 120% of his abilities, who smiled gleefully in the face of danger. That's the Shoyo I grew to admire, and it would be unfair of me to forget all of that."

I looked back up at Kuroo. "Shoyo may not be physically here anymore, but the memories and lessons he taught me will continue to have a positive impact on my life. I want to be like him - to give my all, even when things seem bleak."

I stepped away from Kuroo, walking towards Shoyo's grave. Kuroo walked up to me, looking down at the ground with me. 

I crouched down, gently digging at the ground and moving dirt away. 

Kuroo panicked, looking around frantically to make sure no one was looking. "Kenma, what are you doing?!" 

"Don't worry, I already okay-ed this with Shoyo's parents."

"Okay-ed what?" Kuroo still sounded somewhat sharp with his voice, but I ignored him and kept digging. I then reached into the pocket of my jacket, pulling out a seed. 

I placed it in the hole before covering it back up again. I then stood back up, brushing my hands together to get rid of the dirt. Kuroo quietly pulled out a tissue and handed it to me. 

"What...was that?" He stared at me with a shocked expression, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. 

"Relax, it was just a seed."

He calmed down a little. "What kind of seed?"

"A sunflower."

Kuroo tilted his head. "A sunflower? Why'd you plant that?"

"Shoyo was always bright and beaming. And no matter what set backs he may have experienced, he kept looking at his goal, never turning away from it. I wanted to plant a sunflower to remind people of that."

Kuroo was in a stunned silence, seemingly bewildered by what I just said as though I was incapable of doing anything so thoughtful. 

"What?" I said in a slightly agitated tone. 

"Ah, it's nothing. Just..." Kuroo smiled, looking upwards. "I wasn't expecting you to say something like that about someone. I'm glad he was able to have such a strong positive impact on you."

I wanted to be mad at Kuroo, but I couldn't. I smiled, staring at the freshly upturned dirt where the sunflower seed was planted. 

"I hope this flower grows to be tall and strong. I want people to continue to be inspired by Shoyo's warmth, courage and tenacity."

"Me too, Kenma," Kuroo said, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

[X] 

It had been a while since I'd visited Shoyo's grave. I took some time to properly grieve and move on with my life. 

I stood in front of his grave. The sunflower I had planted had grown - Sugawara-san must have taken care of it like I asked him to. 

The sunflower stood tall and its petals glew vibrantly. Years had passed, so it would have had to endure a flurry of varied weather conditions. But, just like Shoyo, it stood the test of time and continued to flourish. 

I thought back to when we first met. Shoyo was so energetic and outgoing, talking to me enthusiastically, even though I was so quiet and reserved. At a first glance, he seemed the total opposite to me, the type of person who would wear me out. But he somehow tore down any defensive walls I had up almost instantly and gave me a renewed sense of motivation. 

I smiled softly at the sunflower. I closed my eyes before speaking aloud.

"Shoyo, thank you for everything."

[END]


	18. Alternate Ending - Wattpad 1k Follower Special

A/N - Hello reader! So I know I said that I wouldn't continue this story, but this will ACTUALLY be my final chapter. A lot of people wanted a different ending than the one than I wrote. Originally I didn't want to write a different ending because I liked the one that I had. I wanted to have an ending that was sad, but still had a somewhat positive tone. I also never expected to hit 1K though, so as a "thank you" to everyone who supported this fanfic, I am writing this as a gift. This is not the official ending of my story, but this is a more happy ending for those who wanted it. Thank you again for you support and I hope you enjoy this alternate ending! (Also, it was kinda late when I wrote this, so sorry if there's any spelling/grammar mistakes, oops.)

[X]

I opened his eyes slowly, his mind empty of thoughts. I could hear muffled voices, but my body still hadn't woken up fully. Eventually, my vision cleared, the lights on the ceiling becoming more clear.

"Hinata, can you hear me?" a voice cried out desperately. I looked to my side to see Sugawara looking at me, his face pale from panic. "Please, blink twice if you can hear me."

I blinked twice, to which Sugawara sighed in relief. He wiped his eyes, possibly because he was crying. For some reason, he was wearing some sort of medical gown and a mask. It looked like he was smiling, but I wasn't completely sure.

"Thank goodness. I was so worried! I thought that you..." Sugawara paused as he became choked up.

"What he means is," a familiar voice spoke. "He's happy you're okay, Shoyo." I glanced to the other side of my bed and was surprised to see that Kenma was sat there, smiling gently. Unlike usual, Kenma was not holding any sort of device - his attention seemed fixed on me. He too was wearing a gown and mask.

"What...what happened?" I said, my throat feeling a bit sore. 

"You went into cardiac arrest," Kenma said bluntly. "But the doctors managed to bring you back. You've been asleep for about four days since then."

"Four days?!" I exclaimed in complete shock. "Why so long?"

"The doctor told us it was because your body was weak from fighting off the pneumonia. They have been monitoring you since then and your fever has gone down."

"So the pneumonia is gone?" I asked hopefully.

"Not exactly, but it's clearing. The doctor said that you need to keep resting, though that's to be expected given that you also have leukaemia." Kenma looked at me, noticing my confused expression. "If you're wondering why we are wearing this fancy gear, that's because you are in a more sanitised room. We were told to wear this to avoid infecting you with anything else in your weakened state."

"Oh, I see," I said, feeling a little guilty. 

"I'm guessing you're hungry?" Sugawara suddenly chimed in, trying to change the subject.

"Now that you mention it, I am," I said, trying to stay upbeat but struggling amidst the confusion. Sugawara called for the nurses, who gave me some food and drink. Before they entered, they had to be decontaminated, which was weird to see, but I was at least grateful that things seemed to be a bit settled now.

After I'd eaten, the room fell silent for a while. Kenma went on his phone while Sugawara took a moment to catch the team up in the group chat. I was given my phone - which had apparently been sanitised prior - and unlocked it. I had missed a lot of messages from the team. I stared at my phone for a while, anxious to see what had happened since I had been here. I took a deep breath, then opened the group chat, overwhelmed by the messages. I figured there was no point trying to catch up, but before I could even type something, the team noticed I was online.

Nishinoya: SHOYO IS ONLINE?

Tanaka: WHAAAT?? IS THIS TRUE?

Sugawara: He is on his phone, but let's try not to overwhelm him ^^;;

Yachi: Hi Hinata! I hope you're okay - we all miss you! <3

Daichi: Please take your time to recover. We'll see you soon!

Yamaguchi: We'll come visit when you're feeling a bit better. Feel better, Hinata!

My eyes watered as I read the messages. I was reassured knowing that the team was all there for me, hoping for my recovery. 

"There's no pressure to talk yet," Sugawara said. "Just take your time. They know that you have just woken up - they'll understand." I nodded my head, then put my phone down. 

Kenma looked up, staring at me as if he were analysing me. "Is there something else bothering you? We are here to listen if you need to vent."

I fiddled with my fingers for a second, then took a deep breath.

"While I was asleep, I had a dream," I began saying. "It was really weird. It was like I was seeing reality from a third person view. I saw everyone gathered around my body and...I had flat lined." Sugawara looked really shocked, but Kenma seemed to just be listening patiently. "I saw my funeral. Everyone was there. Sugawara, you talked to Kageyama under a tree. And Kenma, you planted a seed on my grave. It was a sunflower I think."

"A sunflower?" Kenma asked, somewhat perplexed.

"Yeah. I think you said something about it being to remember how I've helped you all smile?" I paused for a moment to reflect on what I said, then blushed in embarrassment. "Wait, that makes me sound super egotistical! I'm sorry!"

Sugawara chuckled. "It's okay, you're just explaining your dream!"

The room went quiet for a second before Kenma spoke up again. "You're not wrong, though. You really have made a positive impact on all of us. You can brighten up a room just by being there and can make friends with pretty much anyone. You motivated me in so many ways to improve in volleyball. I know that I may not be able to play against you at nationals this year, but I hope that maybe next year - or whenever you're ready - we can play together. Take your time - I'm willing to wait."

I began to cry again, to which Sugawara rushed to my side, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy right now!" I said, a smile stretching from ear to ear. "Thank you. I love you both so much. I am grateful that you've all been so patient and kind to me."

Sugawara and Kenma smiled contently. Finally, in the place where I had suffered the most, I felt joy again.

[X]

After a long and bumpy road, I had finally finished all of my treatment. The doctor informed me that my leukaemia was in remission - that is to say, I was getting better. It's been a while since then and I've finally been able to do light exercise. 

Unfortunately, since I had been out of practice for so long, I couldn't join my team in any official volleyball matches, and the team didn't make it to nationals like we had hoped. Though it was heartbreaking to see, the team was just glad that they were able to play together for as long as they did. They also reassured me that it wasn't my fault, or anyone's fault for that matter, and that I didn't need to feel guilty. 

One evening after school while I was practicing bumping the ball in my garden, my mother gave me a letter that she had forgotten about, one that had come through that morning. I opened it up and was surprised to see a pack of sunflower seeds. There was a note attached. It read:

Shoyo,

Congratulations on your recover. I know this year hasn't been what you hoped, but I'm glad that you're still with us, that the dream you told me and Sugawara about didn't become a reality. 

I'm not very good with sentimental letters, but I hope you enjoy the little gift. I can't be there to plant it myself, but I hope that the next time I visit, the sunflowers will have bloomed. In your dream, they symbolised how we wanted to remember you for what you've done. I want these sunflowers to symbolise your strength and perseverance, how you overcame this huge obstacle and that it can be a symbol of hope for you. I don't know.

Signing off,  
Kenma.

I planted the flowers. I've never planted flowers before, and despite my mother trying to help me, most of the flowers withered away. By the time Kenma could visit, only one flower remained. It still hadn't fully bloomed, but this was my last chance to make the best of Kenma's gift. When Kenma saw it, he smiled and pulled out a small bag of fertiliser from his backpack.

"As a reminder that sometimes you need help from others to bloom," he said, smiling softly. He helped me use it, then we went inside to play games. Since that day, I was more determined than ever to make sure I didn't lose this flower, this precious gift. It sunflower has continued to grow, proudly standing straight despite what the world threw at it. 

The sunflower is now in bloom. It's not the tallest sunflower you'll ever see, but every time I see its bright, beautiful petals, I feel at peace.


End file.
